


Important

by katling



Series: Stormpilot Week 2017 [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Nightmares, mentions of torture, tiny bit of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 21:37:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9788057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katling/pseuds/katling
Summary: Some things fester if you don’t confront them. Memories are one of those things. Luckily for Poe, Finn will always be there for him.Here is my piece for Day 4 of the Stormpilot Week 2017. The theme was Favourite Scene/Favourite Quote - which is the 2 scenes between Poe and Kylo Ren at the beginning of the movie and Poe’s defiant words - and I kind of use both here. I suppose it’s odd to call this my favourite scene but I suppose it a scene I found to be powerful in its way in Poe’s defiance and then his helplessness in the face of Kylo Ren’s use of the Force. It probably doesn’t help that Oscar Isaac hurts so pretty.





	

It’s never the pain – or rather the memory of pain – that wakes Poe up.

_So who talks first? Do you talk first? I talk first?_

Pain is something he can handle. He’s felt pain. Suffered through it. Gotten past it. Pain is part of the package deal when you sign up for a rebel group like the Resistance. He’d heard enough stories from his parents to know that.

_It’s just very hard to understand you with all the… apparatus._

No, it’s not the pain that gets to him, that makes him go rigid in his sleep, that makes him break out in sweat and wake up screaming. It’s the memory of that insidious, horrible feeling of Kylo Ren _oozing_ his way into his mind and ripping it apart in his search for BB-8, for the secret that BB-8 held within her chassis. How, despite all his bravado, he’d been unable to stop him, to resist, to keep him _out_. How he’d had his secret ripped from him without his consent, leaving him feeling empty, cold, violated beyond belief.

_The Resistance will not be intimidated by you._

He’d woken up screaming countless times since he got back from Jakku, feeling old and worthless, like a failure, _intimidated_. The General’s kind sympathy at the time had only made it worse somehow. He’d _failed_ , not only his mission but the brave Stormtrooper ( _Finn_ , only _Finn_ , never FN-whatever the hell it was… and now he has all the more reason to hate the First Order, the dehumanising fucks that they are) who’d saved his life.

Then Finn ( _Finn!_ ) had been there, with his droid and its secrets, with his jacket (damn, he looked good in it!), with his desperate need to save his friend. Poe had been helpless to do anything other than help him. So he had and they’d attacked Starkiller and won. Poe had been eager to share the victory with Finn but then Chewbacca had been carrying Finn off the Millenium Falcon, so still and silent, and Poe felt like he’d failed again. It was stupid and foolish but he couldn’t lose Finn now.

And he hadn’t. Finn had woken up and smiled and everything had been right in Poe’s world again. Except the nightmares hadn’t gone away. They’d gotten worse until he was barely sleeping. He knew it was starting to show as well. He knew he looked ragged and worn, dark shadows under his eyes, a faint tremor in his hands at all times except when he was in the cockpit of Black One. He was getting looks from his squadron and General Organa had been watching him and he was dreading the day she called him in for a ‘chat’ because he knew how _that_ was going to end and he was more afraid of being grounded right now than the thought of them being overrun by the entirety of the First Order.

He’d thought Finn hadn’t noticed. Not because he thought Finn was unfeeling or didn’t care. Hell, he knew from personal experience that Finn cared a whole hell of a lot. But Finn was recovering, he was busy with an exhausting physical therapy schedule, he was adjusting to the reality of life outside the First Order. He had better things to do than worry about Poe. At least, that was what Poe thought. 

He didn’t know why he volunteered the spare bunk in his room when Finn was ready to leave medical. Finn had been looking so hesitant and uncertain and he’d just blurted out the offer without thinking. He’d never even thought about retracting it, not after seeing the sheer, unadulterated relief on Finn’s face. He thought he saw satisfaction on Dr Kalonia’s face but it was gone so quickly, he was sure he’d imagined it. He hadn’t even thought about his restless, disturbed nights until they were settling in that evening.

Finn fell asleep quickly, a combination of tiredness from his physical therapy and the excitement of moving in and his training as a soldier, who learned to sleep whenever and wherever they could because who knew when they’d next have a chance. Poe lay in his bed and stared at the ceiling and listened to Finn breath. At some point, without even knowing it, he slipped into sleep…

…and woke with a scream. 

He shot up out of bed and stood in the middle of the room, panting and staring at nothing, shivering and shaking as he tried to drag himself out of the nightmare that consumed his mind. A warm hand came to rest on his back and he gave a start, lashing out without thinking. His fist was caught easily and then he was hauled into a warm, tight embrace. He struggled for a moment, not knowing who could be in his room or why, then a familiar scent filled his nose and a familiar voice penetrated his panic.

“Poe. Poe! Come on, Poe. It’s me. Finn. It’s alright. It’s okay. It’s just a nightmare.”

Poe drew in a shuddering breath and then he collapsed against Finn’s solid warmth with a sound that he refused to admit was a sob. He felt Finn’s arms tighten around him then he was being shuffled over to Finn’s bed. He let himself be drawn down onto the bed and wrapped up in Finn’s arms and Finn’s blankets and just Finn himself.

“How long since you slept properly?” Finn said quietly.

“Dunno,” Poe muttered. “Since I got back from Jakku?”

“Poe.” Finn sounded helpless. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It wasn’t important,” Poe replied.

Finn shifted them so that Poe was on his back and he was leaning over him. Poe hesitated for a moment then looked up and saw a sort of exasperated fondness on Finn’s face.

“Of course it’s… _you’re_ … important. I knew you were tired but I didn’t think…” Finn sighed. “ _Poe_ …”

“It’s Ren,” Poe blurted out, not even sure why he was doing so. “What he did to me. Before you came.”

Finn pulled him close again and moved them again so they were lying side by side on the bed, face to face. Poe felt himself relax and he rested his forehead against Finn’s. He didn’t know what was going on, what this was, but he felt so very safe.

“I’m sorry,” Finn said, sounding anguished. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry I didn’t get to you earlier. I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Poe whispered, snuggling closer, as close as he could. “You got me out. You saved me. You completed my mission. Owe you everything.”

Finn chuckled and tightened his embrace. “Go to sleep, Poe. I’ll be here.”

Poe wanted to protest, to say he’d never be able to sleep again now, but lying here, in Finn’s arms, surrounding by his warmth and his scent, he felt his eyes drifting closed. He felt safe, protected and secure and he slowly slid into sleep again.


End file.
